Is 39 Too Old to Have a Baby?

First, I would like to welcome you to my blog.  I'm writing this blog in hopes of sharing with others my experience of having a baby at 39 as well as my experiences with the resulting financial hardship.  As I continue to blog, I hope to be able to share what I've learned along the way, and how I was able to not only survive adversity, but thrive in the thick of it. 

Now, on to answering the question, is 39 too old to have a baby... Probably.   But I wouldn't change it for the world.  I had just turned 39 when I got pregnant.  I was very excited, but very nervous because I had already had 3 miscarriages, the last of which was just 6 months prior.  The last miscarriage had left me broken-hearted, not only because of the loss of a precious life, but also because I just knew that it was my last chance to have another child, given my age.  But God had different plans.  I knew within days of conceiving my son that I was pregnant, because my breasts were sore and I started getting severe indigestion, which was exactly how I felt the last time I got pregnant.  My husband was less than excited because he immediately began to consider the financial aspect of having a 4th child.  Yes, this is our 4th. Our other children are 17, 16 and 8.  

But back to this pregnancy.  Having found out that I was pregnant so early on, I had what seemed like an extremely long pregnancy.  I began showing early on, and being short-waisted, I looked like I was carrying a very large pumpkin under my shirt by the time I was 5 months along.  But other than getting tired easily, and looking like I was carrying twins, I was feeling good and avoiding any of the typical health problems one might associate with being pregnant, especially at my "advanced" age.  When coworkers asked me when I was going to start my maternity leave, I would reply, "When my water breaks."  I had every intention to work up until the very end.  I told them that I couldn't afford to leave any sooner than that.  

But, again, God had other plans.  At 34 weeks, I began having contractions, and had to go on bed rest for 2 weeks, until I reached 36 weeks, at which time, the baby would be considered "full term."  So I did this.  At 36 weeks, I went back to work, and worked a day and a half before being sent back home by my doctor for the remainder of my pregnancy due to a spell of shakiness, fatigue and nausea at work.  I carried my son 2 more weeks.  At 38 weeks, my son was born, and I had already been off work for a month.  I had less than a week of PTO saved up and it was long gone.  My income had stopped, and my maternity leave had just begun.  

So, after having a planned C-section, I asked myself again, is 39 too old to have a baby? The answer this time--DEFINITELY!  What in the WORLD was I thinking???  I'm 39 years old!  I'm overweight.  I'm relatively healthy, but obviously not in good shape.   The last 2-3 months of my pregnancy I hobbled as much as I waddled.  The pressure placed on my hip joints from my ever-growing belly made it feel like someone was using my legs for a wishbone.  After I actually had my son, things got much worse.  This is where the medical Murphy's Law came into play.  First, there were some extenuating circumstances during delivery, which I will detail in a later post, that left me waiting an hour on the operating table for my c-section to begin.  This left me fighting off panic as I felt more and more claustrophobic, being unable to move, and experiencing most of my body as dead weight.  Did I mention I'm generally a highly anxious person anyway?  Well, I am.  

So I survived the c-section, and was blessed with a 9lb 8oz little boy.  But then, this 39 year old body, now two and a half months from being 40, starts falling apart.  By the way, insurance companies don't really care about how you are doing when they decide that your time at the hospital is up.  I was discharged 48 hours after having a c-section and tubal ligation.  I was having unexplainable back spasms every time I went to the bathroom, and at other unpredictable times throughout the day.  These spasms had begun radiating up my back and into my neck and head.  They were paralyzing.  But no one seemed to care.  To make matters worse, on the second day, I began losing control of my bladder.  I had never been so humiliated in my life.  And next came one of the worst experiences yet...hemorrhoids.  I had never had these before, and I pray I never have them again.  Enough said. 

In addition to this, my entire body was swollen.  My legs were numb they were so swollen, and walking felt unstable at best.  My past experiences had been that I arrive at the hospital with ankles slightly swollen, have a baby, and the swelling is gone the next day.  This time, I came to the hospital with ankles slightly swollen, had a baby, and then my entire body from head to toe swells to the point that my skin is tight and shiny.  I was told that it was because I was "older" this time.  When I tried to walk, I had to scoot my feet because I couldn't lift my legs to take steps.  Oh, and insurance companies also don't care that you can't lift your legs to go up the steps into your own house.  I happen to have steps at both my front and back doors, so this was especially problematic.  But thanks to a very kind and caring husband, I was able to manage the back door steps with assistance.

It took about 2 weeks for everything to start getting back to normal.  I cried a lot the first week.  I cried less the second week.  I've cried more this week.  This is week 4.  I don't know if I'm experiencing postpardom depression or if I'm just depressed because we are out of money, with so many things needing to be paid for.   But I have survived this far.  And I will continue to survive.